UKxFem US
by Desaparecer
Summary: USA is a girl and UK is a pervy gentleman. They are dating and... well... it's a random and stupid story :3 At the ending has a bit of Giripan


**WARNING: STUPID AND RANDOM. **This awesome idea was from Mitchie98. THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT ^w^

Well… this… BEGINS!

….

England looked at his watch. 16:15. Okay, fine, he had just arrived. No problem. She will arrive soon.

…

Again, he looks at his watch. Now, it's 16:24. Well… she's a girl, is normal if she's a bit late. Yeah, sure.

…

Again, now it's 16:30. England is a gentleman, of course, but he's a bit pissed. Only a bit.

20 minutes more…

England- Okay, she jilted me… I don't know why… maybe she bothered when I said to her she shouldn't eat too many times in McDonalds or something…

When England was going to leave, he suddenly heard back from him:

-IGGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Yes, she was.

When England looked back, he saw Emily in pajamas running as Hell. The only thought in Arthur's mind was "Really? This time in pajamas…?"

In that time, USA was hugging UK, but she glomped so hard that they were actually on the floor. Emily looked at his eyes. She was over him, too close. Arthur blushed. There was the sexiest country at the top of him, looking at him, in pajamas. A sexy one. Damn it. And she was his girlfriend. DAMN IT, TOO HOT.

Fastly, England got up because he is a gentleman and he don't want to have pervy thoughts, but Emily couldn't get up and she stood clutching his waist. Arthur blushed more.

UK- Emily, please, get up. This is embarrassing, all people are seeing us.

USA- But I am sooooooooooooo tired… and Iggy's waist is soooooooooooooooo comfortable.

UK- *Blushing more* AND WHY ARE YOU IN PAJAMAS?

USA- Well… last night I were playing videogames and I went to bed at… 5 a.m, so I woke up recently and I ran to here for you.

UK- I have the phone, you know…

USA- But with the phone, I can't hug you.

She looked innocently at Arthur.

UK- Well, if you want, I can stay with you other day, you know, you are tired, aren't you?

USA – Mmmmmmmh… well… you could go to my home! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA I could rest but with you… doing things that pairings do… watching TV, playing videogames, pillow fight… and that stuff.

UK- This looks like you are as my best friend instead of girlfriend…

USA- *Giggling* But with your best friend you can't "make babies", can you?

That was too much.

Arthur GOT A BONNER.

UK- *Started to giggle nervously* HAHAHAHA, I DON'T KNOW WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, JUST GO TO YOUR HOUSE…

While they were going to Emily's house…

USA- Do you like ducks?

UK- What?

USA- Ducks

UK- Ducks?

USA- YEAH, DUCKS! I thing they are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cute.

USA started to laugh as she does it. She was laughing so hard, so a button from here pajamas came out. UK saw it.

Shit.

-Mind of UK- CONTROL YOURSELF. CONTROL YOURSELF. YOU ARE A GENTLEMAN. BE LIKE A SIR. YES, I KNOW SHE HAS AN AMAZING BODY, BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO… TOUCH IT. YEAH, YOU DON'T. CONTROL YOURSELF. BONNER, GET DOWN. PLEASE, GET THE FUCK DOWN-

USA noticed that UK was a bit weird.

USA- Arthur… are you okay?

UK- Yes, of course I am.

Now, they arrived home. The XBOX was turned on and a few videogames were on the floor. There was some icecram melted on the table and… panties. On the couch. Sexy blue panties with stars.

UK- I think you should clean more your hose, Emily.

USA- Yeah, I know but yesterday I had to play this videogame. I was playing Assasin Creed and it was like: SHIT, EZIO, RUN FASTER. YOU BASTARDS! DOWN FROM THE CEILING. That usual stuff. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Arthur loves Emily, but sometimes he couldn't understand anything of her. He tried to help Emily.

UK- Well, Emily, change your clothes, I am going to clean this up. Then, when you change, relax, leave this to me.

USA- Okay, honey~! And she ran to her room.

Arthur was happy. He only has been hanging out with her less than one week and this was the first time she called you "honey".

Arthur tidies up everything, and the room looked like there were sparkles in.

Only… he left those panties on the couch. He couldn't tidy them up. That was too much. If he would do it, he would get more bonner and…

UK- I AM A GENTLEMAN, I AM A GENTLEMAN, I AM A GENTLE…

USA- What's up, Iggy?

He looked at Emily. Dude, THAT WAS SO HOT.

She was only in a large shirt and panties. Fucking Goodness. Arthur got a nosebleed.

USA- Are you okay!? I am going to take a nose-rag…

Her sentence was unfinished because Arthur was already kissing her. That was their first time kissing, because UK was so shy always. That shocked a lot to Emily, but she enjoyed after all. Finally he took the step. Finally he kissed her. FINALLY.

When he stopped, she looked at his eyes. He looked embarrassed.

UK- So… sorry… I thought I was a gentleman and that stuff… but I had pervy thoughts all day and… I'm so sorry.

USA- Don't worry, my little Iggy. That's normal. I have pervy thoughts too sometimes.

UK- Yes, of course but… ER, WHAT!?

USA- YAY! Of you and that stuff. It's normal, you are my boyfriend. And… I can show you if you pull this hair *USA shows him her hair on top, that weird blonde tuft she always have* Pull it and you will blush more.

UK- *Thinking if he should do it or not* Well… o-okay…

As he pulled, USA moaned and hugged Arthur. Arthur couldn't resist more and he placed on top her. They started kissing passionately and… cof cof… touching everywhere… COF COF ATJÓOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, ATCHÚUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

User- *From nowhere* HEY HEY HEY HEEEEEEEEEY, HOLD FOR A SECOND, YOU TWO IN HEAT.

Arthur- WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW? THIS IS THE BEST PART!

User- Well, the fact is that I'm not going to write a lemon because I write like shit, my English grammar is horrible, blah blah blah… I DON'T KNOW HOW THE FUCK TO WRITE EROTIC SCENES! So, I will put ducks, tomatoes and stupid things instead.

Arthur- W-WHAT!?

"Arthur was so bonner. He throwed his clothes DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS and USA biting TOMATOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEES. Both sweaty bodies were I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT, I LIKE TO MOVE IT, I LIKE TO MOVE IT (Madagascar song, don't think pervy, you reader… YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, sorry) USA moaned louder and louder AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH CIGÜEEEEÑÑÑÑÑAAAA, BARIRIIIIIIBARARAAAAAAA~ (From Lion King). Arthur was MIAU MIAU MIAU so hard and Usa WOF WOF WOF WOF WOF. Then, USA started to suck Arthur's ~My name is Ralph~.

CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP DUCKS DUCKS "I'm going to cum" DUCK AND MOAR DUCKS.

USA- "A-alfred… I can't… stand it more…"

UK- "Yeah… me too… together?"

USA- "Y-yes… "

And then, she HELLOOOOOOOOOOO, I AM LINDSAY LOHAAAAAAAAAAAAN, MY NAME IS ACHMED. Arthur took out his NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN.

USA- "No! I want… it inside…"

So, when they PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~ *Suddenly, Venciano appears, he shocked seeing the scene and ran away looking for Germany because he was afraid* they were both too tired. USA, kissing his DUCKSTOMATOESYOGHURTILIKETRAINSNIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA UUUUUUUUN fell asleep, and Arthur shocked from that action, blushed and fell asleep too.

User- Well… that was so strange but it worked… SORRY, PERVY READERS :D

~2 days later~

The Axis and the Allies were in the boardroom. When England and USA got in, everybody saw them with weird peeks. France started to say his HON HON HON HON HON, Prussia his KESESESESESESE, Germany looked a bit… disappointed? Hungary was giggling, Russia was smiling… well, Russia always smiles.

USA innocently asked: "What's the matter?"

~~Silence~~~…

Italy- Ve~… Well… two days ago I see you two…

Iggy got mad and he blushed so hard. However, USA made him blush more saying: "AH, YEAH, he is well endowed, HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA".

England ran away. Too much blushing. Too much embarrassment.

Nevertheless, USA was so happy. Unbelievable.

Greece- *Wakes up* Eh…? What's happening?

Prussia- Kesesese, England fucked her girlfriend. What a boy.

Greece- Girlfriend? Who?

Prussia- USA, they were hanging out for a week.

Greece- WOW, SO HE'S GAY?

Prussia- WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT THE HELL!? USA IS A GIRL!

Greece- … uh, yeah, sorry… I had a weird dream. I dreamed that all of us were gay and USA and Japan were men.

Prussia- WHAT THE FUCK? That would be so weird. IN WHICH UNIVERSE IT COULD BE TRUTH!?

Greece- I don't know. A weird one.

User- Well… there are Universes of mochis and cats… and 2!p… the sky is on the limit, you know.

Greece- Oh, hello User... zzzzzZZzzzZZ… *falls asleep*

Prussia- Man, another shit fanfic. User, you are NOT awesome

England- Yes, that's true. User is a stupid frog.

User- WHAT!? YOU FUCKED USA, YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL. SO, NOW, I'M GONNA TRANSFORM YOU IN CATS AND SEND TO YOU TO JAPAN'S BATH (Fem)

England- W-WHAT?!

*Transformed in cats and in Japan's bathroom, Japan is there having a bath and sees NekoPrussia, NekoEngland and… NekoGreece. She looked around. She was so embarrassed but… she opened the door, left outside NekoPrussia and NekoEngland and left NekoGreece inside. She was blushing so hard*

Japan- Well… you are gonna have a bath with me…

NekoGreece- *He was sleeping, he wake up and transforms in human, but with cat ears. He has a nosebleed seeing… that scene (User OMFG THIS STORY WILL CONTINUE) and had a bath with Japan… HON HON HON HON* …

NekoPrussia- NYANYANYANYAKESESENYA! [OH MAN, I WANT TO SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING INSIDE, KESESESESE!]

NekoEngland- PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFHHHHHSSSSNYANYANYA! [Don't be such a pervert, you frog! *thinking the same*]

User- Well, now I leave… MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THEY ARE CATS, NYANYANYANYAcof cof… I'm not a cat… (Goes to a corner)

….

I'll hope you liked this (I'm sure this is stupid and bullshit) and whatever. You can use this, when you need to vomit or whatever, read this C:

Sorry for adding random GreecexFem!Japan.

I needed to.

I NEEDED.

MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CATS, CATS EVERYWHERE.

The end?


End file.
